Urinating on the motorway, Arabs, environment, Israel and the Palestinians, prostitutes and water buffallo.

Just a few completely random points about urinating on the motorway, Arabs, environment, Israel and the Palestinians, prostitutes and water buffallo.

---------

IF YOU ARE AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT, DON’T PISS ON THE HARD SHOULDER OF A MOTORWAY. Apparently it’s illegal, but it’s probably not the worst crime in the world. Obviously you are putting yourself at risk, but then driving when you desperately need to go, can’t be much better. You know… when you get to that point where you have to keep moving otherwise it’s unbearable?!?!?

But if you are illegally here and without a driving license, you don’t want to be found out because you needed the toilet. That’s what happened in ‘Traffic Cops’ last night which I was watching for want of anything better to do (you know, one of those filler programmed for Wednesday nights. Why do they put rubbish programmes on, on Wednesdays?). You know, you’d think they would want to keep their heads down or if you are going to get deported, you might as well go out in style.

But when nature calls…

------

An interesting note by Rav Hirsch (from the 19^th century) on the positive qualities of Arabs. Funnily enough, it was in article on Jewish women.

“The monotheism of Abraham, the Hamitic sensuality and thirst for freedom that stamped the personality of Hagar, and the virtual fanatic belief in the providence of Almighty G-d, drawn, as it were, by Hagar from the ‘well of the Living One Who sees me’- this mixture of qualities has shaped the traits for which the Arabs are known to this day and with which they have made their own contribution, in the form of poetry and scholarship, to the spiritual symposium of humanity”

‘Nuff said

------

I got the overwhelming desire today to buy a car. Why? So I can conscientiously not use it! I hate it when people (and I don’t know why, but specifically Jews do it) drive to university when it is less than 15 minutes walk away. It’s disgraceful. Apart from being horrendously lazy, it’s horrific for the environment.

Now when environmental protestors say that people shouldn’t fly or say that horrendous taxes should be put on it, that’s just stupid. Some people need to fly, others want to fly but only do so occasionally, and those who are filthy rich… well… they are going to fly anyway. Stopping flying is not only something that you cannot achieve, it might not be desirable to achieve.

What really matters for the environment is these small things that you can do stuff about. Yes I know it would take a hell of a lot of not going by car to make up for one plane journey. However, firstly there are a lot of people that can ‘not go by car’. It is practical and unless your are bone-idle, there is no reason not to walk. Thirdly, going by car for a short journey bespeaks a whole attitude and if you won’t drive if necessary, you wont do other things either.

Now I’m probably guilty too. I do accept lifts to morning service. It’s too early and I don’t have the wherewithal to move, let alone put up a principled stand. But regardless of whether I get in the car, the car will be driven anyway. I would never ask for there to be a lift if there wasn’t one already going. And that’s why I want a car, so that if no-one else is going, I can in principle refuse to take people!

An expensive gesture, buying a car for that reason!

-----

Good news of sorts. Following a decision from Ehud Barak, travel restrictions are being eased for Palestinians in the West Bank, and the PA police (or at least a loyal subsection of them) are getting new equipment. This is following on from continued negotiations between PA and Israel. Also, talks between Ehud Olmert and Mahmoud Abbas continue. This can only be good news if it helps the lives of Palestinian civilians, and increased Paelstinian compliance in aiding Israel’s security. It’s a shame that it is primarily motivated by one-upmanship against Hamas. Rather than (by either side involved) a real concern for peace or the lives of civilians, it is trying to score political points against Hamas in Gaza. Bloody politics. Please G-d, they find a way to help the humanitarian situation in Gaza without having to give political credence to Hamas.

Although one of my points is proved. Criticism from a friend is far more effective than criticism from someone that hates your guts! The good news in part arose from criticism of Ehud Barak by Condoleeza Rice. The Americans overall (and rightly so) agree with Israel about things. As such, Israel has an incentive to listen to them. Where criticism is needed, it should be given (and probably doesn’t happen enough). Criticism from Palestinian groups, on the other hand, is ineffectual and shows that they don’t really have the interests of Palestinians at heart or if they do, they are very misguided. When you justify suicide bombings, deny Israel’s right to exist (however you dress it up) and will criticise Israel come what may, the criticisms will be as effective as a one-legged chair. When you preach immoral things, your valid criticisms will not be listened to.

----

The following incident reminded me of situations with ‘money boxes’ designed to stop people swearing (i.e. put 50p in if you say **** etc) where the child swears, gets told off and says “I’m not ******* swearing, ok?”. This is what Rabbi Ezekial Landau said in court:

"Everyone should know that the wife of the Chief Rabbi is a prostitute and there is a fine, 100 adumim for each utterace that she is a prostitute, and you should also all know that if I had more money I would call her a prostitute again, however I currently do not have the money I will have to satisfy myself with the fact that I have already called her a prostitute."

The following reminded me of when certain Catholics will defend to the hilt not wearing condoms because that is what the Pope decrees, but are quite happy to have sex before marriage (which I’m sure he’s not too fond of):

A Latin document records a troubling incident from 1404 where, "a German speaking Jew visited a non-Jewish prostitute on Shabbat and he refused to pay her, he explained that he could not pay her as it would violate the Shabbat."

It’s fun reading about prostitution!

----

Last but not least, I have decided I am a filthy animal. I was watching the ‘One Show’ where they were looking at a reservation park with water buffalo in. They happened to mention that they had cloven hoofs. All I could think about “I wonder if they are kosher!” I couldn’t get it out of my head. I’m a bad man!

The MP3, the list of questions and an orgiatsic experience (Alternatively titled: Moroccan Jewry)

Shal-oh-m. It’s 2.37 in the morning and I have just finished a shiur (“lesson”/ lecture) that has got me all excited. It’s certainly a good shiur, and how can you tell? Because I started listening at midnight, it’s 1 hour and 9 minutes long, and I have just finished it. Anyone who knows a friend, who knows a friend that does maths, or even lives in a country where mathematicians are present will know that, it doesn’t add up. I live with a Mathematician, ask him!

[I on the other hand, am a philosopher, and should be able to cast doubt on the most simple assertion. Last year, when my housemate arrived home from drinking and found me reading a book with ‘68 + 57 = ?’ on the front, he confidently asserted ‘125’. Of course (so I explained) the book was arguing that there is no fact of the matter as to whether by ‘+’ we meant addition rather than a different mathematical function. As such, you couldn’t castigate me for saying the answer to the question was ‘5’ (or you could, but not on the grounds that 125 is the addition to 68 + 57, which we both agree on). To this he went furious. It turned his mathematical world upside down and was questioning everything he held dear.]

That is [so I will confidently assert on this occasion] I was listening to the shiur for 88 minutes longer than it lasted! Magic, I hear you ask? Practical Kabbalah? A faulty watch? No, I’m afraid. Just having to pause it every five minutes to argue, to pace, to jump up in delight, to kvetch, to relive the point, to go to the toilet, to rewind and relisten to parts.

And what was this wonder? It was by Rabbi Dr. Marc Shapiro on “A Non-Orthodox Traditional Approach: Reflections on the Authority of the Moroccan Rabbinate.” And what was so brilliant? Well, it was worth listening just to the Americanisms: ‘Shal-oh-m’, ‘P-oh-skim’, ‘Takan-oh-t’. ‘A takan-oh-t that if he deflowered a virgin, he had to marry her.’ Ha! Deflowered, I haven’t heard that term since the last virgin who tried to bed me and wed me (/ an episode of ‘Friends’ with fat Monica). And the slightly funny comments like the following:

[Disclaimer: I put ‘slightly’ despite the fact that it was definitely a LOL moment. However, those who wonder why I laugh in synagogue very loudly, and wonder what was so hilarious are less impressed when I point to Rabbi Hertz’s commentary on the first line of Shema. But there you go… some people laugh at Friends, so there really is no accounting for taste]

“Today you go to the Bet Din, they can do whatever they want because they don’t have to adapt to the community because it is all voluntary… Now if the rabbis in America issues Takonot, no-one who wasn’t Orthodox would care, that’s for sure. And even among the Orthodox if the Aguna rabbis issued them, the Chassidim wouldn’t care; and if the Chassidim issued Takanot, the Aguna wouldn’t care; and if the Modern Orthodox issue Takanot, no-one would care, not even the Modern Orthodox.”

But witticism aside… this shiur raised such fundamental questions that had my head turning (‘literally turning’ as a misuse of English language might be heard to proclaim’). These are such fundamental issues that I just want to write about now if it wasn’t for the fact I have to be up in 4 and a half hours to daven, hear the megillah and go to Manchester to see my old Rav. The art of the blog is to write briefly but I have not an artistic bone in my body. See how long this is turning out to be and I’m not even writing seriously or putting my incisive, multi-faceted intelligence to (say I). But yeh… ever wondered about:-

• the nature of Jewish belief: dogma versus ‘just a set of laws’.
• the role of the Rabbi: to forbid the permitted versus permitting the forbidden.
• the ‘Chumra’ (stringency) culture versus ‘lets all go have sex' culture.
• the place of religion in Modern Israel: religious Zionism versus Zionism + Religion.
• Conversion in Judaism: ‘get lost unless you are a saint’ versus ‘we don’t want the kids to be non-Jewish, so let’s get you quickly converted, no questions asked’
• Halakhic ‘change’ versus the hegemony of the Shulchan Aruch (and more specifically the Mishna Berura).
• Why Askenazim have such a thing as ‘Orthodox’ or ‘Conservative’ or ‘Progressive’ denominations where (parts of) the Sephardi world have none
• The immorality of secular culture, the stupidity of Modern Orthodoxy, the terrifying and ridiculous (in no particular order) nature of Charedi world.
• Judaism as ‘sect’ (/religion) versus Judaism as a code for society at large

And more. Oh yes. The stuff was positively- I wouldn’t say orgiastic, okay I would- orgiastic. [‘Orgiastic’ is a word that Rav Soloveitchik repeatedly uses in a chapter of ‘The Emergence of Ethical Man’. Now, I’m sure he doesn’t mean it in the sense that the dictionary definition gives it : ‘pertaining to orgies’. But, I think we can understand the word in context]. So much so, I cannot talk about it now, but I had to write something! It will be on my pile of things to write about: I’m already in the middle of writing blog articles which I need to finish including “Chassidism without mysticism?”, “Easy religion”, “Is I Orthodox? Innit”. I get so inspired by things; the first of the aforementioned articles was inspired by “The Wind in the Willows” written by that great sage of old: Kenneth Graeme. But then I can never get them down cos there so bloody complicated (and no-one reads what I write anyway).

But just to give a general flavour…. The shiur was about the decrees of the Moroccan rabbinate and the nature of the Moroccan Jewish community. It was one where the whole community was under the sway of Halakha. Yes individuals were non-observant and very few you would call ‘Orthodox’. Yet the communities were run according to the decrees of the Rabbinate and they lived a traditional Jewish life. There was no ‘reform’ Jews trying to give a different account of what Judaism essentially was or should be. However, neither was there a need for a self-conception of ‘Orthodoxy’ and there was no need to tailor Halakha (or strengthen it) to root out the community of true believers from those who have left the fold.

The Bet Dinim (courts of law) had far more authority over the Jewish community in Morocco (as opposed to these days where, as per the ‘funny’ quote above, you’ll only listen to a Bet Din if you ideologically agree with the people that make the decisions). However, the effect of this is that the rulings were more lenient. Why? Because you are not ruling over a sect, or a group of like minded people, or those who have exactly (or so poskim must think) exactly the same needs. No… Halakhic law is just that. Law. It has to take into account and run society with people in with different needs, different beliefs, different circumstances. Plus they could be lenient because they didn’t think the leniencies would be taken as a concession to other sects of Judaism. How often, these days, do we hear “Oh. Umm. It’s technically allowed but you still can’t do it. It may lend credence to feminism, to other denominations, to secular wisdom, to the gentile customs, etc; plus don’t complain stringency beautifies the mitzvah” Does it heck!

[To a certain extent, this kind of situation still exists even within Sephardi ‘Orthodox’ congregations in Europe. When my brother was in Aix-en-Provence he said that it would be unheard of to have synagogue that weren’t run by ‘traditional’ Rabbis, but they didn’t kick up a poop when women in the ladies gallery put on tallit and tefillin]

Yet when the Moroccans moved to Israel, their culture and their halakhic traditions and thousand year old customs were not respected. There was a general prejudice against sefardim: the secular believed they were ignorant, superstitious and backward looking and the Yeshiva world couldn’t comprehend that there may be some traditions that are not codified in the Shulchan Aruch. Rav Ovadiah Yosef, a major figure, brought back pride for Sephardim but at a cost. In order to win respect from the ‘Orthodox’ (the Chareidi Yeshivish world) he has attempted to standardise Sephardic practice according to the Sephardic opinions in the Shulchan Aruch (despite the fact that many of his rulings deviate from it!). He himself orchestrated attempts to wipe out the halakhic traditions of some Sephardim. For example, based on teshuvot of Rambam, Moroccan Jews do not repeat Mussaf Amidah (especially if there is talking in shul). Unacceptable. Why? Because the Shulchan Aruch defines ‘Orthodoxy’. Why? Because ‘Conservative’ Jews say that halakha changes, whilst that law code was appropriate for the time, it is now no longer. So, G-d forbid that anyone deviates an iota from it (despite the fact that they do) because it lends credence to Conservatives.

What was interesting was some of the halakhic rulings of Moroccan Jews that are very pertinent today. There is a lot of fuss about women prayer groups in our world! Yet they have rulings going back hundreds of yours saying they are fine and happened! [G-d forbid we do them unless we are going egalitarian or copying the gentiles]. There are instances of ‘mi shabeirachs’ about v’imateinu Rachel, leah, v’sarah. [G-d forbid we have prayers like that unless we are reform]. There are other that aren’t directly importable (because they were relevant to their community not ours] but are still interesting. For example, prohibitions on gentiles and wine did not apply. Based on a [previously censored] ruling of the Rema, it was argued that there absolutely nothing wrong with wine handle d by Muslims. In fact, to prohibit it would be to turn the holy into the profane as, G-d forbid we consider worshippers of G-d into worshippers of idols. Obviously, that was a completely Muslim and as such, monotheistic culture, it would be different where there are religions [including Christianity] that may {or may not} be considered avodah Zorah.

In fact, there were lots of interesting rulings and so much to say. Let’s make a date… we’ll talk some time.

Damn its 4 o’Clock