Continued from: here
People who “say it how it is” slightly annoy me. There is no indication that what they say actually is, is “how it is”; or if it is: there is no indication that is how it should be. Does Alan Sugar really put the best people through The Apprentice or are they sometimes rash, ill-considered opinions? Does Simon Cowell really know what makes a successful singer or does he simply know how to get a Christmas number one?
In real life, it is surprising how ‘telling it like it is’ correlates with the person who has the loudest mouth, is the most sarcastic, or who judges others far more than themselves. Also, the person’s opinion always seems to be describable by a mix of the following adjectives: certain, unambiguous, radical, exciting, controversial, ill-nuanced, unmitigated. We live in a funny world where the opinion adjudged to be the closest to reality never happens to be one that is ‘matter-of-fact’ or recognises complexity.
It is precisely seen as a virtue, and not a vice, of an opinion that it is unmitigated and unambiguous. Gone are the social conventions that prevent you telling the truth. No longer are minor issues allowed to obfuscate major ones. False or pernicious ideas are no longer protected because other people believe them. However, the above virtues only hold if the opinions are true or at least, well-considered. Too often we should agree with Peter Ustinov, “Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much.”
Valuing people who ‘say how it is’ is generally a licence for people to say whatever crass, prejudiced and foolish things ‘come to mind’. Now, opinions stated with utter conviction are more likely to come across as true. Equally, an opinion that comes to their mind will also come to other people's’ minds and so believed. However, this is no guarantee that the opinion is any good. Often what comes to my mind in response to a situation is “F**k, Sh**, B*^&!”ks, W^%k”- yet there is a good reason why those of us without Tourette’s Syndrome inhibit those responses. A little silence, contemplation and good old-fashioned British Civillity go a long way. They allow us to take on-board additional information, see things from a different perspective and come to an appropriate response.
As the Talmud says: “If silence be good for the wise, how much better for fools”
