Help, that isn’t

Trying to help people isn’t all it’s cracked up to be!

I spend half my life holding the door open for people.  After all, isn’t that the polite, even gentlemanly, thing to do?  Yet unless you judge it just right, it ends up being more of an inconvenience than a help.  If they are just that bit too far away, then there are only two possible options.  Either they start quick-stepping to the door so that they can get through without making you wait. Or, they walk at the pace they would have done anyway and you end up standing there like a lemon.  The former is making them unnecessarily rush and expecting them to show gratitude for it!  The latter means that you both end up feeling uncomfortable with the situation and yet, unable to change what you are doing.

Another example is on the London Underground where the ‘right’ thing to do is to give up your seat to the elderly or those less able to stand.  You see someone on a busy, rush-hour train out of the corner of their eye and a surge of compassion comes over you.  You gesture for them to take your place, whilst you are prepared to stand in the sweaty abyss.  What a knight in shining armour! What princely valour!  Except, of course, when the corner of your eye misjudges someone’s age.  If you actually ask a middle-aged woman to sit, you are basically saying that they look elderly and worthy of special treatment, despite the multitude of middle-aged women there!  They laugh or give a half-smile, feeling acutely embarrassed that they were asked and say “no, you’re alright”; and you sit there embarrassed watching the floor so you don’t feel compelled to be nice again.

There are just so many examples.  I’m certainly careful before trying to be a peacemaker, when often the two people would rather have a good spat and don’t want my patronising nonsense.  What’s the moral of the story?  I don’t know.

Facetious Insignificance

A large part of what I like about halacha and Judaism is that things matter and nothing is to be treated lightly.  Our actions and deeds, the world and all its objects have meaning for us.  This is not necessarily to say that there is meaning out there to be discovered, as maybe we construct much of it for ourselves.  It is, however, a statement that everything should evoke a rational, ethical and emotional response from human beings.  More than anything, it a moral imperative to be serious and engaged with the world in such a way that befits our human dignity.

Any serious response involves making distinctions, putting things into categories and deciding priorities.  In the Jewish setting, this is embodied in commandments and custom but the ethical dimension may well evoke a less formal response in other cultures.  It is no less true than in any academic discipline where information is sorted, categorised and interpreted.  

Yet, too many people leave their rationality at the laboratory door, at work or in the academy, and take a ‘live and let live’ attitude to their lives outside.   It is the scientific categories and distinctions, for example, that really matter and everything else is plain vanilla by comparison.  And just like its corresponding ice cream flavour- why make a fuss about it?  With a twinkle in the eye and a shrug of the shoulder, any life-affecting obligation can be shook off:

‘Who cares what lifestyle I choose so long as I don’t harm anyone?  Morality is culturally relative and people can live as they please.  Why distinguish or categorise people or actions as that just excludes!’ 

This is not to say that no argument exists for relativism, libertarianism or excluding regulation from certain areas of your life.  It’s the way some people say with a look that tells you that it doesn’t matter a darn bit how you answer them.  The people for whom rationality is pointless because any distinction just doesn’t matter- to them.  Care-free people for whom any action is equal and every distinction irrelevant if it simply doesn’t bother them! 

This attitude in extremis- a failure to draw distinctions or let them impinge on you in any way- is a denial of one’s humanity.  It reminds me of a case in Oliver Sack’s The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat about a patient who had a brain tumour and underwent a personality change, becoming complete superficial and uncaring:

Testing left-right discrimination was oddly difficult , because she said left or right indifferently…

‘Left/right. Right/left.  Why the fuss? What’s the difference?’

‘Is there a difference?’ I asked

‘Of course,’ she said, with a chemists precision.  ‘You could call the enanitiomorphs of each other.  But they mean nothing to me.  They’re no different for me.  Hands… Doctors… Sisters…’ she added, seeing my puzzlement.  ‘Don’t you understand?  They mean nothing – nothing to me.  Nothing means anything… at least to me.’

‘And this meaning nothing…’ I hesitated, afraid to go on.  ‘This meaningless… does this bother you?  Does this mean anything to you?’

‘Nothing at all,’ she said promptly, with a bright smile, in the tone of one who makes a joke, wins an argument, wins at poker…. Nothing any longer felt “real” (or “unreal”).  Everything was now “equivalent” or “equal”- the whole world reduced to a facetious insignificance

I’m not saying that those who don’t agree with examining the small things in life has a neurological disease but perhaps they are not fulfilling their true potentiality as a rational being.  Of course, what I like about Judaism may be what another hates.  This is what someone said was the best thing about leaving the religious-Jewish fold (http://daashedyot.blogspot.com/2010/08/better-know-kofer-sam.html):

The best thing... hmmm... maybe that you don't have to take everything so seriously. Every choice and action isn't considered such a major issue that you always need to be absolutely confident is the exact right thing to do

Now, whilst I certainly don’t believe in being confident that my actions are the exact right thing to do (in fact, I think halacha is about doing things even without that certainty), I certainly think my actions should be considered.  Whilst prohibitions or commands may be highly annoying, I’m not one for a care-free disposition and no-one can accuse me of treating things with a facetious insignificance.

Pro-Israel, Pro-Freedom of Speech

Dear UJIA,

I would just like to pass on my support and encouragement to UJIA Chairman Mick Davis, after the so-called 'shockwaves' that have been sent through the Jewish community.

I have both donated to and benefited from UJIA-funded activities and am now encouraged to do more so in future. 

As a Zionist, I support your activities.  As an advocate of Israel, I realise the potential for public criticism being mis-used and the need to be careful.  But as a critical human being, I am pleased to hear people speak their mind.

One may agree or disagree with particular views expressed.  However, it is absolutely right that the oft-used phrase "just because we support Israel, doesn't mean we support all government policies" isn't merely theoretical or vacuous.  And certainly the view of another Jewish leader that "diaspora Jews should never criticise Israel" is absurd and immoral.

As with everything else in life, Zionists have a plurality of opinions.  It is good for Mick to express his.  I'm glad UJIA is showing itself as a "big tent" for all Zionists

Shabbat Shalom.

Neil Clarke

A Toast to Cashing-In

In honour of iTunes now being able to makes lots of money off The Beatles, I thought I would offer an un-reasoned, but absolutely correct opinion as to their best album.  And the winner is….

Rubber Soul

It may not have the stand-out songs of Let It Be, and it may not have the musical influence of Sergeant Peppers or The White Album, but it is the best taken as an album in totality.   There isn’t a duff/embarrassing song on there and most stand the test of time. You can just sit back and listen to this fast-paced album right from beginning to end. The band seems completely at ease with their song-writing with all original songs and no pseudo-spirituality-  just a band doing what it does best.    

And that’s the final word.